Snow White…

The fatigue is often other worldly, off the spectrum of tiredness it doesn’t require doing things, in order to perpetually exist and it isn’t cured by rest.
It aggravates other symptoms, and rubs off the platform for flexibility and resilience.

It comes without choice, and just is. There is no gtting better, there is simply management.
A mask is required.

Mostly I adopt masks of normality, so that I can show up and steer the focus, without reference to the ticking time bomb inside.
How many people would choose to spend their weekends inside, for months on end, in perfect weather.

I am traditionally awful with cabin fever,  a feral nature child who would rather be outside everyday than anywhere else. But here I lay.
It takes such endurance to follow your body where your mind and body would prefer to never have to go.
Mix with this the psychology of knowing death is potentially always at your doorway. Forever practicing putting as much distance between myself and it.
Anticipate feeling shit or imprisoned by my body has incensed me to discover and build practices in mapping and navigating challenging scenarios.

I am especially grateful the capacity to laugh through the pain remains.

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One Response to Snow White…

  1. robotkeijij says:

    I don’t follow many people. The practice of liking a blog post just to obtain a like is shallow and meaningless to me. I appreciate your candor and your use of language in a poetic and readable manor that both engages my mind and my emotions. I truly understand what it is to sit under the shadow of death and still stand and speak. Many a day I’ve tried to hide myself from the world, from others pains, from myself most of all. Thank you for contributing to intelligent discourse on hard subjects. People like us are usually only looked at thorough the corners of eyes, not fully understood, because to place a normal person into our shoes is a gulf of understanding most can’t sustain. I look forward to your writings. We are both finite, but I feel your words and eloquence with them invigorating. Until you or I can no longer express the ourselves, I look forward to hearing your truth in the poetic way you present it. All my best…and I don’t extend that often.

    Like

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